365- Month Four / by Amanda Powell

April becomes the transition into something better. Something we hope for but can't fully focus in on yet. 

As the sun peeks out behind the clouds we see the hope of new beginnings. This idea that we will get up get out and try again. 

I hurt so much in stagnation. I flow in and out of myself sometimes, because I can't stand the thought of standing still. 

It hasn't always been this way. I used to bask in never changing, and now I crave it. Spring has become a manifestation of this. The desire to continue forward, regardless of where I've come from..

I get so stuck in the past, and long to go back and change a situation, react better to an encounter, have more confidence to say no, or go after my desires. I need to realize my now doesn't have to be my future, my  "wish I would have".. 

Stoping a cycle, truly changing and growing is hard and painful, but possible and rewarding.